


Scars

by angel1876



Series: Science With Gaster [2]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Cuddling & Snuggling, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Hugs, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Reader's gender not stated, Scars, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Hatred, hyperventilation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-18
Updated: 2015-12-18
Packaged: 2018-05-07 09:40:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,391
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5452067
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angel1876/pseuds/angel1876
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gaster inadvertently triggers an anxiety attack during an examination. He's quick to offer what comfort he can.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Scars

His fingers were gentle as they ran over your arm, peering a little too closely at a jagged scar below the elbow. The both of you were silent, Gaster in contemplation and you in voiceless terror. You weren't afraid of him, no, nothing so specific as that. It'd be easier if you were. Rather, you were just afraid. Motionless under both his touch and his gaze, all you could do was sit there, half curled in on yourself, shaking.

Like the brush of a feather, he touched the scar, a shudder running down your back, giving a half hearted tug as if to take your arm back. To your surprise, he let go instantly, and you found yourself cradling your arm to your chest, eyes lowered to the floor.

"My apologies, human. Does it hurt?"

You shook your head, not ready to look at him and respond verbally. Although you couldn't bring yourself to meet his gaze, you could feel his attention centered on you. Your skin crawled, chest heaving as your lungs couldn't seem to get enough air. He'd know. Somehow, he'd know just by looking. Heat rose up your neck and crept into your face, not knowing what to expect. Pity? Disgust?

...anger? You were acting like an idiot, you knew this. There was nothing to be afraid of but you couldn't stop yourself, couldn't turn it off, and you fully expected him to loose his patience with you and snap.

His voice became softer, hovering just above a whisper. "You're breathing too fast. Try to calm down, before you hyperventilate."

The concern you heard in his voice brought a whimper from your own, an attempt to speak that cut off as the words caught in your throat. "I-I...mmm..."

Pathetic. It wasn't hard. It wasn't hard to talk and it wasn't hard to act like a normal person why were you freezing up like this, why couldn't you just relax and talk to him? The frustration coiled inside you, pressure forming behind your eyes and oh, look at you. You were going to cry in front of him. You always cried, always, always, and he was going to think you were such a baby. You weren't supposed to cry. A sob bubbled up against your will, breath slowing only because your throat clenched hard enough to restrict the flow of air going through it.

His arms wrapped around you, pulled you in close, and you stiffened further, not leaning away but not accepting the contact either. You didn't deserve to be held, you didn't deserve kindness, you probably didn't even deserve to survive that damn fall. Stupid you, tripping over a root you should have been smart enough to see. It was right there, how could you have missed the thing? You shouldn't have even been on the mountain in the first place. It was cowardly, running away from your problems, no wonder they wouldn't stop yelling at you.

"It's okay. Human, it's okay. You're okay. Shh..." His fingers traced along your spine before settling at your shoulders, kneading at the muscles underneath. "Everything's going to be fine."

Liar. It wasn't. They always said that but it was never fine. He was just waiting for the right moment to lash out. To blame you. Your tears overflowed, hot and wet against your cheeks as another sob came, followed by a harsh gasp of air as your lungs burned for more. "Ssssorry. I'm sssorry. I'm s-sorry."

"Don't be afraid. You're safe here. Everything's fine." He continued to croon soft assurances into your hair, his hold tightening protectively as you quivered under his touch. "Do me a favor, please. Take a deep breath, human. Can you do that for me? Inhale."

You did. You did as he asked, shuddering hard as you forced your lungs to expand.

"Good. Now exhale. Slowly."

You released everything with another, painful sob.

"Inhale...exhale...inhale...you're doing very well. I'm proud of you. Good human. Very good. Exhale..."

He repeated these instructions several times over, continuing for a full minute even after you'd managed to get control of your breathing.

Finally, the trembling eased, a dull numbness settling in over you in place of your fear. Exhaustion weighed down on you, the sensation almost comforting after what came before it. You didn't like this much better, but at least you could think for the moment.

He peeled himself away from you, bony hands going to your face to wipe away the lingering wetness. You were able to look at him now, though not in the eye. Your gaze rested on his mouth, a step in the right direction.

"Are you alright?"

You nod, letting out a sigh that brushed over his thumb, dully surprised when he didn't jerk away. "I'm sorry." you said, managing to keep the stutter out of your words for once in your life.

"You don't have to be sorry, human." He cupped your cheeks, fingertips trailing a slow path along the curve of your jaw. "Are you sure I didn't hurt you?"

"I'm sure. It's just a-just a scar." And there it was, right back again. How could be possibly understand you when you did that? It was hard enough for the people who could hear, but with him lip reading you were astonished your words didn't look like an incoherent mess to him.

He hesitated a moment, then said, very quietly, "You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to. But you can, if you want."

You almost laughed at that, but you didn't. The urge was bit back, held through clenched teeth, strangled before it could escape. All that worry in his voice, what would he think of you if he knew you did it to yourself?

"I'd...r-rather...rather. Nnnot. I'd, um, rather not. Th-thaaank you, though."

"Hmm." He leaned his forehead against yours, fingertips trailing upward until he found your temples. Gently, he rubbed circles into them, slow, soothing motions that eased the tension from your shoulders and uncurled the knot in your stomach. "I think it might be best to put the examination on hold for a while. How about we go get something to eat instead? Or we could watch a movie. Alphys has been going on about this anime special that just came out. She said it's one of the best she's seen."

"W-we don't h-haaave-have to. I-I mean, you were-you wanted to..." You leaned back a bit so he could see your mouth but as you protested you found yourself ducking your head down, making it hard for him to read what you were saying anyway. Your breath caught in a nervous flutter, threatening to get away from you again.

"We can do the examination later. When you're feeling well. Please, human. You're more important right now."

"I'm sssss-sorry..."

"You have nothing to be sorry about."

You didn't understand. Why was he being so nice? You'd disappointed him, hadn't you?

"I...I'm..."

He nuzzled your forehead, first with his own, then he eased up to touch his teeth to your skin. "It's okay. Later. Alright? Come, let's get you out of here."

Leaving no room for further argument, he tugged you off the table and toward the door, an arm wrapping around your shoulders. The pressure of him against you made a warmth stir in your chest, one that was both pleasant and painful. Wanting to take his concern at face value but at the same time expecting to do something to upset him. You always did something. No matter how hard you tried not to, it happened, sooner or later, and as nice as he was now he'd be yelling once you messed up bad enough.

Instinctively, you pressed into him once you were out of the room, shying away from the monsters you didn't know, convinced they were staring at you when many of them weren't even looking your way. In response, he tightened his grip, and though it did nothing to hide you, you felt shielded from them all the same.

"...t-thank you." He wasn't looking at you, nor could he hear you, but you murmured the words anyway.

Nothing was ever okay for long...but at least for the moment, it was. You thought you should at least try and appreciate it while it lasted.


End file.
